Gravity • گرانش
25x25cm • Ink pen & Pencil on Cardboard • 2020
It was summer 2012, i had a sever pain in my lower waist, I couldn’t even walk properly. Dr kashani told me i had to do a radiology of my waist. So did I and went back. While he was examining the photo he looked at me and asked: “how are you even walking? Your 5th and 6th lumbar vertebrae are in critical condition. Don’t your feet get numb?”
Shocked I answered: ”no, I don’t know“
He asked about my job and daily activities and continued “you have to do a MRI so i can do a more precise diagnosis. To see if this was a congenital or acquired condition and to see if the spinal cord is injured.”
I went for the MRI, it was my first time and i felt overwhelmed and weird during the process.
I brought back the results for him and he held it up in front of his face looking closely, he looked at me from the corner of the sheet and asked: ”did You serve in army?” To which i answered ”yes 6-7 years ago”.
He said: ”you shouldn’t have, you were an exemption. This damage is at least for 15 years ago” He prescribed some medicine and a medical belt and suggested to do a surgery as soon as possible or i have to be on a wheelchair the next year.
When i got out of his office i was doing some math for my age and all of a sudden i was thrown at the time when i was 10-11 years old, the day that no one was home and my sister,Nasrin, wanted the dolls at the top of the closet. I pulled all the drawers out and went up, i stretched my hand to the highest part of it to get the dolls, but i stumbled and the closet shook towards me, while i held my leg on the window edge, i fell on my back and the closet fell on my chest. I couldn’t understand what was going on, my ears were ringing and like the dreams that you wanted to scream but you couldn’t, I couldn’t even say anything. My eyes were popped out and with some movements of my hand i pointed at Nasrin who was 5-6 yrs old to get help. I thought i was gone deaf. It probably got 4-5 minutes until my ears weren’t ringing and i could Hear and talk, It still hurts and i still can walk without a wheelchair.